Unseen change

Change...everyone talks about their past and how those experiences have changed their lives, but few can talk about this impact, nor even begin to grasp it while it is occurring. It seems that only after a time has passed can a person reflect and understand its value and significance.

My family here has a 5 month old black lab puppy, his name is Messi (after Argentinean soccer player Lionel Messi). When I travel for a period of time in Costa Rica and leave for a week or more, every time I come back I notice how big he has grown in my absence and I note how he has changed. But when I am home for a week or two, I hardly notice a difference, though he’s growing just the same.

I think it’s the same with me. For all I have learned, for all I have seen, experienced, an evolution in my way of thinking and even in who I am has undoubtedly taken place, but I can’t see it happening. Sometimes I wish I could step out of my life here for a time so I could feel the difference and appreciate it more. I sort of had this opportunity when I went home for Christmas, but it flew by so fast I hardly had moments to contemplate it. Except for the obvious changes in pace of life and diet (which were especially extreme considering it was Christmas season), I didn’t have quite enough time to reflect, nor did realities as big as those I’m referring to even have time to settle in.

Life has chapters, and each one is a like a story in and of itself. I imagine it as a series, as all of them are related and sequential. But as with a story, the greater significance of the plot, the characters and the setting are not completely realized until the story has been fully told. Only then does it all fit together and add up to a greater overall meaning.

As I try to understand what I am learning here in Costa Rica - and I mean beyond the classroom, about my life in general - I think I will appreciate it in part for now, but full realization will evade me until this chapter has passed. Despite this, I still ask myself, "How have I changed, or have I at all?" "Do I think differently now than I did before?" "Have I gained something beyond educational knowledge?" Yes, surely I have, and will continue to do so, but I lack a means of measuring it.

Though I wonder about these things, I am in no hurry to discover them. Especially if it means I must leave this chapter of my life to find out. I don’t mind unseen change, it’s quite intriguing, really. And the more time spend abroad, perhaps the more profound of a change to be discovered later. The way I figure, the fact that I have these musings shows me I am not taking this all for granted nor passing through these weeks and months blindly. For now, that’s all the assurance I need.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28